[LilyMoon]

Have you read "Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control" by Bryan Post and Heather Forbes. This book will help you understand your child's behavior and how best to deal with it.

I have to question whether your child has fully attached if he is still displaying tantrums and "naughty" behavior. Attached children really don't tantrum and act defiant.

Using AP does not make you a softy. It is a way of connecting to your child and helping him regulate himself and feel safe with you and then in the world. It is not meant for you to be at odds with your child, but to work together to help your child become emotionally healthy. If you are using punishments and withholding affection to get your child to comply with you, it goes against AP and what you are hoping to achieve.

Reading the above book would help you know what to do in the face of difficult behavior from your child. The result we want for our children is not a child who is obedient out of fear of us, but one who listens out of love for us and knowing that we have their best interests at heart.

I also signed up for Heather's parenting relections that comes daily in email form. It is wonderful and has been so helpful on keeping me focused on the goal of helping my child in the right way. You can sign up for them on their website. If you would like the web address feel free to PM me.