I understand your choice. My cousins were 4 and 7 when there father died in a motorcycle accident. My grandmother had a stroke when she heard the news and they were buried a week apart. My cousins did not attend there father's funeral. The oldest said that he wanted to remember him the way he was. The youngest was really too young to understand. Unfortunately for me, I WAS old enough to understand. Interestingly enough, I was 10 and didn't worry about losing my parents. I think that I understood it was a freak thing. I honestly don't know if my cousins worried about it or not. They just wouldn't talk about it. I would think that 5 is awfully young for something like that...especially given the situation. I didn't take my oldest dd when the oldest of the cousins listed above died (again from a freak accident--a kid playing with a gun
). She was 2.5. She was standing at his grave a few months later as I put flowers out and asked about digging him up so he could play with her.... She just had no concept of what it meant.