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I'm glad you decided not to go. You can still have the conversation if you want to, but no need for the kids to get that close to it...
DS was 4 when my mom died. They were VERY close. DH got a book from a very good friend of ours who is a counselor. It was a childrens book, and explained death in a way small children can understand. DH read the book to DS, and when it was done he hugged DS and said 'someone we know has died'. DS asked if it was Nanny, and DH said yes. DS said 'that means we can't go on vacation together again' (my mom, DS, and I had returned from a Florida vacation just a few weeks prior). DS also said he would miss Nanny's voice. Very touching and sad. He cried, and really seemed to understand.
However, like Alex, Tayton has attachment issues. He was very afraid, for a couple of years after, that I would die. We struggled with that for a very long time...
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