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I've not been a birthmother; and only an adoptive momma....but from what you have posted, I could find no problems with her comments. It would sound as if this woman is simply verifying that she believes you are now the momma and what your role is.
From what you've written, I don't see that she is taking herself out of the picture, but more allowing for the reality of what the relationships now are. If she were not speaking to the baby, caring or holding this baby during your time together----I might understand cause for concern. But, it would seem that this lady is acting genuine and considerate of the baby and her role as it is now.
Maybe I'm wrong here. I haven't been where you are, and someone who has, may have a totally different view; but that's how I see it---limited in knowledge as it is.
Sincerely,
Linny
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