[redbonec]

Hi!
Yesterday my daughter and I went to meet her birthmother and her mom for the first time since the birth (almost 8 weeks ago). We met at a mall between us, it was great visit, and we spent about 5 hours together (good thing it was a big mall!).

On occasion, bmom will make comments:
-while pushing stroller, says baby notices it's not her mommy pushing her (meaning she sees a new person and it's not me)
-she was holding her, store person asked about her, or makes a reference about her baby, bmom motions toward me and says it is my baby
-makes a comment about baby getting back to mommy (me)
-when she was holding her, I told baby she remembers that voice (bmom's), bmom said (with a smile) she doesn't remember

Before the birth, bmom would also tell the baby about the mommy and daddy she would have, and in the hospital constantly referred to us as mommy and daddy, and "your baby/daughter".

When out yesterday, I know she wants us to know we are the mommy and daddy, but I also don't want her to take herself completely out, as she constantly referred to me. Bmom did love her and care for her and worry about her 260 days or so before she was born, and then gave birth to her.

I feel stuck. I know she "relinquished" her rights as a parent, but also don't want her to make herself unimportant, or as though she had nothing to do with our daughter.

Your thoughts?