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Originally Posted by sammyhas3
I was going to be a MOM before I signed adoption papers...... I am still a MOM. I may not be a parent to this child but I will always a mom....... I am a parent to Two other childern that I raised and a mom to the daughter I am reunited with. Just a mom, why do they have to but a Lable one me because I chose something I thought was best ?.......... so I will always be a Birthmom to all my childern
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I have now seen a few writings from married woman who refer to the child they give birth to as birth children after they adopt a child.
I all of history, women who give birth are mothers.
Women who adopt become mothers
sometime in the last 30 years, women who gave birth and gave up a child, became birth mothers, to make them different from all other mothers..
So being a birthmother does say something about the woman. whatever the reason, she was religated to the non mothering role of birth mother.
When in reality, birthmother is the title the explains without having to say a word, what happened to that mother who no longer has her own children.
Ex-wives without custody, could be considered birthmothers, but they would bite your head off it you said it to them. After all they didn't give away their child, they just lost physical custody to the dad. Or they share custody.
I don't object to being called a birthmother in todays society. Much of it is true. Too young, no money, no help, makes for unable too. But that isn't all true, I had the ablility, just didn't get the chance becuase of the rest, to prove it.
But I was his mother first, I did love him first.. I did not see him first, I did not hold him first, (never allowed in hospital) That little time he was mine, has to count for something.
OK I am still sharing, not debating, I don't really disagree with anything that has been written. I am not trying to change minds. I am just trying to put a different spin on it.