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Originally Posted by ess922
I think thats part of what I am upset about (in some ways, I wish we had backed out of this before baby was born). I know that sounds terrible to say... But this stuff with bmom is really negatively effecting my abilility to bond and connect with the baby. Its so sad!  |
ess922,
I have experienced something similar - only in my case it has been on another level as bmom COULD rescind the adoption - DID contest it - and continues to wreak havok in our lives. We are STILL in this mess after more than 4 years. Also, my husband was in Iraq during most of it. So yes, I absolutely understand your feeling this way. My own feelings of fear, anger, and betrayal made bonding more difficult.
Stress, specifically severe stress such as this, makes day-to-day adjusting and bonding difficult. The resentment can not be allowed to "bleed over" to your child (and I don't think you're doing that) - but it is hard when there is so
much anger and resentment. My strategy for getting through the toughest of the days was "fake it 'til you make it".
Don't beat yourself up over this - many of us have felt this way and there are so many regrets and what-ifs and if-I-had-only-known.
Do what is best for your child and your family. Be strong. You are in no way responsible for poor choices made by the bparent(s) but are responsible for keeping your child safe - never feel guilty about that.
Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm glad you have found a place of support - many of us have been where you are.
Blessings.
Christie S.