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I think there are many reasons why there are more and more disruptions.
The reasons that many have already posted are very true. I would also add though, that the agencies/social workers need to realize that there ARE some children that have extreme disorders......and children that SHOULD only be placed as single placements...with no other children in the home.
And, to realize that some children will NOT change......as Lucy states, the effects on the brain after severe neglect, chaos, etc.....can often NOT be undone. But, many social workers want to think that 'all children are just children......they couldn't possibly feel the need to rage, to hurt others, to want to kill animals and such. AND....to realize that the adoptive parents DO FEEL sadness, this is NOT what they wanted....they don't 'feel as though they are simply getting rid of a child', KWIM?
I have gotten so sick of hearing some agencies talk as if we went into this without planning to parent our children forever. Nothing could be further from the truth!!!!!
As far as whether it would be hurtful for this child to be placed somewhere temporarily, Lucy speaks well when she says that it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. If you are feeling stressed and as though you can't help this child further (and this would be normal)......then it may only help (again, as Lucy points out) if the family is versed in attachment parenting, etc.
Personally, it came to the point (and the danger) that to keep our sons in our home, meant danger to our other children. We would go to the ends of the earth to help the boys; but not to the point of putting the other children in harm's way.
Sincerely,
Linny
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