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A wise child psychologist once explained the lack of cause and effect in these children to me when I was sobbing in her office.
How do we, as infant humans, learn cause and effect? If we cry, someone immediately picks us up. If we continue to cry, that person tries to feed us. If we cry more, that person changes our wet or dirty diaper. If we continue to cry, they rub our tummy to try to sooth our gas or colic. If we fall down and hurt ourselves, someone comes running to comfort and minister to us.
But this never happened to these children. When they cried, no one picked them up, fed them, changed their diapers, or rubbed their tummies. Eventually, they learn that the world of humans is random and meaningless -- that NOTHING that THEY do or do not do has any effect whatsoever upon what the adults in their world do (or fail to do) for them. Eventually, they stop crying altogether, for what would be the point?
Then, when they come into a home, we expect them to understand our verbal and facial cues ("If you throw the cat across the room, Mommy will be VERY ANGRY! Do not do it!") -- and we go nuts when they listen carefully, nod, grin at us and throw the cat across the room.
My only word of wisdom is that this does improve with time (LOTS of time), but will probably never go away completely.
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