[swanzie]

Parenting a rad child no matter how they are labeled - moderate or severe or mild - is the hardest thing I can imagine. (and I have a good imagination) I currently have to older mild rad kids and I know EXACTLY how you are probably feeling. I have felt my inner core of my being being squeezed from every angle. It is HARD work and there is not a senisble soul on this earth that would look down on you for not proceeding with this adoption. Anyone who I have spoken to regarding raising a rad child would tell you if they had known the ramifications of rad previously they wouldnt have gone thru with the adoption also. So you are not alone - but you are wonderful to have the foresight to know what you can and can't handle. You have done a wonderful thing by realizing that they needed a different home setting. For this do not be ashamed...do not feel guilty. This is something that took alot of courage and you should be applauded for. - the same words I have for echobunny. She tried beyond belief to help out those girls. She had to make a very hard decision...but for the safety and security of those girls I have to commend her also.

Yes I believe both of you deserve a break! But that doesn't mean that you should give up your love of fostering. Would you throw away a bushel of apples because there is one rotten one in the bag?? No - you still can make a beautiful apple pie out of the rest. You both can still make a wonderful experience with other foster children. There are children out there that do not carry the same type of baggage as the ones you have experienced. You need a break - I understand that - I understand wanting to throw in the towel...however, if your heart still desires to foster - I bet both of you will make even better foster parents the next time around...because you have been there and done that and you know the warning signs and you have advocated well for these kids. You care - and there are many foster parents out there who don't....You are good parents - that is why this experience has hurt so much!!!