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Originally Posted By Cheri

Kathy - I know from your posting that what you're feeling is painful so I hope you won't mind that it made me smile, 'cause I'm a mother of seven by choice too - although ours are spaced MUCH farther apart and are of so many races that it's very obvious that they're all adopted. One of the most intended-to-be-hurtful remarks I got was from my mother-in-law who said, "your life must be so empty that you keep trying to fill it up with kids, it's so sad."

You really do have to get to the point that you can just laugh about it, especially in front of your kids. I tell my kids that we are so rich in people, I tell them that they are my treasures. And, when the moment calls for it, there's nothing wrong with being right to the point with busybodies. You might try one of the following:

"God has blessed me with 7 children, I'm so lucky"
"Yes, I'm lucky to have been allowed to adopt these children."
"It's hard to worry about birth control when you're adopting."

or, how about a good, old-fashioned "mind your own business".

It has been funny for me, as a white Mom with lots of brown kids to note people's reactions. When I'm by myself with my three african-american kids, people of both races look at me like I'm some kind of low-life (sleeping around I guess they're thinking), but, when I'm with my also-white husband they look at us like we're saints. Well, we're neither - just very blessed and sometimes very tired parents.

Hang in there - YOU know the truth and YOU know that you're doing the right things. God is on your side, so let people's comments fall where they may.

Cheri Tillman