I am in the same boat, too. My DH is very open and soft hearted to the *idea* of adoption, but the reality scares him to death. I have done the same as several posts before - poured my heart out to him and assured him that I didn't want to pressure him, but had to tell him how I felt. We agreed I could "get the ball rolling" with the understanding that we could "stop the ball" at any time. I thought the info. and exposure to IA would help him - and it has. Seeing those waiting little faces just tears at his heart (and mine!) The info. and seminar on IA has made it more real life for us both. Well the ball has rolled about as far as it can without spending money or signing a contract, so I am in the trusting God and waiting on DH game. One thing that has helped is to praise him (to myself and him) for the positive side of his "holdups" - in our case his fear of the financial, emotional and energy drains of IA. The positive side is that he takes his responsibility to provide for us well (not just $, also time and attention) so seriously - otherwise, he wouldn't be afraid. The other help has been to recommit in my heart to our marriage *first*. In the end, a damaged marriage is in no-one's best interest, including our children's. So I will wait. I believe that God has called us to this and where He calls, He enables - but in His timing, not mine. Finally, I am praying like crazy for him. That's the most powerful "change agent" of all.
