Ok, first... take a long deep breath! Then exhale sweetie!
I've visited those forums myself, altho admittedly I don't feel like an invader because I'm adopted myself. I was adopted at a week old and have known it my entire life. I can't remember ever finding out I was adopted to be honest, it was more just something I always knew.
My Mom and Dad never refered to me as their adopted daughter, nor did they refer to my brother that way. He was a year old at his adoption. I can't say that some of the folks who post on those boards don't make me worry, but I can tell you that my Mom and Dad are my Mom and Dad, my Dad died when I was 12 years old, and my Mom raised my brother and I for the most part on her own. And while yes I do have curiosity as to my Birth Parents I have to be honest, they are just that in my mind, my birth parents. All those words mean to me are that they are the people who loved me enough to let my Mom and Dad raise me. And if I do ever meet them or talk to them I'd like to thank them for that.
But honestly, my Mom and Dad are my Mom and Dad, I love them, I still call my Mom at least once a week, and I can't even imagine my life without her in it. She is my Mom.
So please, while I understand your stress and worry, please don't let it upset you so much. And always remember you are their parents, your who they will look to when they need love, understanding and everything else a Mommy and Daddy give. And yes when they get older and are mad at you for grounding them or saying no they can not drive 200 miles with 3 friends for a concert they may even tell you how much they hate you but trust me when I tell you they'd be saying that either way, adopted or not.
This is just my perspective mind you, but I hope it helps. And now true to form... I'm going to call my Mom because I've forgotten how she told me to get this darn roast ready for the grill!
