[doozer22boys]

Did anyone go that route? We are working on this technique called "funneling" where only my husband and I are allowed to touch the girls in any manner (hugs, lap sitting, carrying, hugging, high 5's). We are also the only ones to bathe, feed, and do bathroom/diaper stuff...this we have been doing from the beginning. We have always not allowed touching from friends but we did start with all family to begin with. The problem is that both of our girls have affection with strangers--big time--so we have to limit their touch for now so they can understand that their mommy and daddy will meet their every need and will never leave them. They think that every new adult they see is a potential parent and they might go home with them. So they put on the charm and the hand holding and all that. It is horrible to watch. It's especially true of our 4 1/2 year old. I went to an attachment seminar and she told me we just have to do this so our girls do not have indiscriminate relationships their whole life. They have to learn how to have appropriate relationships basically.

The problem is that the grandparents are having a cow about this new rule. They are making it about themselves and not understanding even the basic idea of personal safety for our girls. I am just sick about not having their true support. They said they'll do it but they're extremely hurt. I wish they could understand that the way the girls interact with the Orkin man is the same way they interact with Grandma/Grandpa...because they haven't learned what those special relationships mean yet. My parents don't even live around here. They're 20 hours away. So they only see our family 2-3x a year. My husband's parents live an hour away so it will really affect their visits.

I could go on and on. But I guess I'm asking how those of you who did this technique survived it through the grandparent part. Any advice? As most of you know, I'm working my way through post adoption depression right now so I really don't need this extra stress from grandparents. I am feeling much better since I made that visit to my doctor and started therapy. But this kind of stuff just makes me realize how much harder adoption is than I had expected. No one really gets why we do the things we do---even when you explain it over and over. I just wish we'd get the benefit of the doubt since we truly want what is best for our children.

Thanks for any help.