[Emster]

Regarding what you tell the children conceived thru rape, I believe that children have a right to know about their entire history, good, bad or otherwise. I would share a little at a time, age appropriately as they grew, so that by the time they reached early adolescence, they would know the full story. 1) Eventually truth comes out, and if you arent' the one giving it to them, they'll see that as a break in trust, 2) a lot of times kids can feel that they aren't getting the whole story, and what they fill in the blanks with in their own imagination can be far worse than the real story.

Again, simply my own opinion, but I think the information we carry about our children is THEIR information (even if its also OURS), we are just the keepers of it until they're old enough to decide what to do with it.

would I allow contact with this person?? That's harder for me to answer. My gut tells me "NO" quite loudly, but I have not been in that situation. Good luck.