[Singlemom619]

I'm an adoptive mom... I have contact via email, text messages, and occassional phone calls with Bmom but my son doesn't want to talk to her. I make him write a letter once in awhile but he says he feels like she's his aunt or something... She has sent him 2 cards that I gave him and read with him (I didn't read them before he did).

ANYWAY - If I were on the other end of your situation - i personally wouldn't be upset if Bmom sent ME a letter telling me what was going on. At the very least I would write back and say something... BUT that's me - and I realize I'm different than some other adoptive parents. Even if I decided not to tell my son at that point I would still respond to the Bmom.

BUT I think i'd be upset if the son found out and i didn't want him to just yet... SO don't put your NAME on the envelope - that way if he gets the mail he won't see it and Amom gets mad at YOU. Tell her you're sorry to bother her, you tried waiting, blah blah blah....

ps. I wonder if you "admit" that you were going to wait till he was 18 would upset her - like you were going to contact him no matter what she thought - so maybe word that differently.

good luck.