I too would like to recommend the same book, "Does anyone look like Me?" Excellent! I would also like to recommend the magazine "Adoptive Families." This month's issue, October 2006, was written just for you!
You are correct about your neighborhood changing. I have lived in my house for eight years and have watched houses bought and sold and noticed the change. Unfortunately these days with schedules the way they are neighbors aren't what they use to be. I am only close to my next door neighbor while everyone else pretty much keeps to themselves.
You sound like you have already made this little girl a part of your family so if it works out that you do officially become her parents there are things you will want to consider. Since you live in a small cc town, do you live near any bigger cities that you can travel to give her the experience that she needs? Are you willing to step outside of yourself to let her see that you are the minority? Ex: church, hair salon, museum? Are there possibilities of having friends that are aa? I don't mean walking up to total strangers and asking if they will be friends just because of their skin color. When you seek out different arenas find someone who has similar interests, kids the same age, jobs, movies. Anything. Also hair will be a big thing. There is an abundance of help out there. Perhaps go to a beauty school and have the students help you out with what products to use.
You sound like you will make great parents for this little girl since you have already been asking yourself the tough questions. Love is definitely all you will need but realize that unfortunately there is ignorance out there so get ready for a bunch of silly, intrusive questions and thicken up your skin.
I wish you all the best.
