I am in need of the advice of adoptive parents.
I am a birthmom, please don't let that scare you! I am in a situation now and seek advice on how to and even if I should approach the adoptive parents.
The adoption was a semi-open adoption. I was able to meet the parents, they sent a few letters through the adoption agency to me but that was it.
They did not want to keep in touch because they adopted a little girl before they adopted my son and they did not keep in contact with her biological mother so they said it would be unfair to her if they kept in touch with me. They did not want her to feel that her birthmom did not love her.
The adoptive parents knew that I struggled a great deal with and after the adoption but they have no idea why.
My son was 8 months old when the papers were signed. I raised him for six months. I was only 16 at the time. Anyhow, my father called the adoption agency and told me that I had to this or I would not amount to anything blah blah blah!
He took me to ever meeting with the adoption agency and even to court when I sign my parental rights away. He made it clear that I knew what would happen if I did not follow through.
Let me back up though. When I was going to the adoption agency for counceling, I did call them and tell them that I could NOT go through with this! My dad found out and beat me up very badly. He stood over me and told me that I had to call them back and tell them that I would finish things.
The bottom line is this, I loved and still love my son so very much! My father is now in prison for 40 years, yes! I finally stood up to him. He is there for incest and hiring a hit man to kill me.
About 1 1/2 years ago, I contacted the adoption agency to find out if I could send a letter to the adoptive parents and they said they would forward it. I never heard back from them. And I wonder if they ever received the letter in the first place.
Through the years I have searched and searched for my son. This past March I found him. I found out his name, location, phone number ect. I was thrilled!!!
I have done nothing with this information. The problem is, my son turned 15 this year. His adoptive sister has turned 18.
I do NOT want to interfer in their lives. He is in Wisconsin and I am in Texas. But I have been going back and forth how to handle the situation. I have some people saying that I should contact the adoptive parents by certified mail letting them know that I have not forgot about him, that I love him very much and to let them know that I am available should he have any questions.
I have also just found out that I have a growth in my uterus and I am still undergoing testing but the doctors know for sure that I will require surgery. They are trying to find out if it has spread to other organs.
I know that I am not supposed to contact him until he is 18. I don't have a problem with that. I want him to be a kid and not worry. But is it wrong for me to contact his adoptive parents? How do I handle the situation?
I also want them to know that he has 7 other brothers and sisters that ask about him often. He also has 6 brothers and sister from his biological father. So a total of 13 brothers and sisters.
Any help or insight and advice or suggestions would be so helpful!
Thanks so much!
