[numbr1dbcksfan]

I think that self-esteem is part of temperament.. which sure is pretty pre-determined. I think that things influence that... like for instance.. you may be encouraging.. but her temperament might be different than yours.. and she might recognize that she is not like that.

I think it is all just intertwined together. It is hard to describe why you feel a certain way.. if it is just something that is there... then we all -- I almost want to say no matter our temperament -- get caught up in our parents....and wanting to please them.

As someone who constantly struggles with this (and really I dont remember ever not struggling with it), I think that it is hard when you are looking at your model of what you feel you "should be" and you arent like that(even in my case.. where I SO should not be like her... as a kid you dont know that, so it is there). In that way it is sort of self-inflicted, even from a young age, I think, if you feel different than what you are looking at. (Im talking emotionally different not physically different.)

Im not so sure it is a cognition thing (faulty thinking) as it is a communication and understanding thing... (which is hard to figure out at a young age... then starts that cycle...that stays with you through life....)

JMO.