Thank you for all your kind and supportive words, and zxczxcasdasd, I can't thank you enough. You provided more encouragement than you could ever know. It's funny, if I read through this post it sounds like a bad Jerry Springer episode, and that is not my life. I think I am pretty average all the way around, except I am taller than most women, so I guess I am tall and average (haha)
. Getting as close to his birthday as it is, I am now entering the fear stage of what if he tells me to pound salt. I don't know what I would do. I do know that he has not logged into myspace since I called the adad. I don't know if he is hiding from me, crazy ex, or just taking a breather from this side of life. When I talked to his adad I mentioned about bdad calling him this summer, and adad said, "yeah and he basically told him never to call him again, haha", which I have gone over in my head a dozen times since he said it. First, the bdad told me he called and told me son said call back after his birthday. Second, why would adad be happy about that. Bdad was an 18 year old when he became his father, doesn't he deserve a chance at knowing him now? Adad has benefited from bdad's youth and lack of courage. I cannot imagine being so self-centered to not want to share these wonderful beings we call our children with the world (minus all the crazies).