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Originally Posted by Bug&Bearsmommy
But, the comment about her b-day?? Maybe I am taking it wrong. Maybe it is just her age? I don't know. I just feel like I am being made to feel obligated to do something for her b-day.
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I agree with the others, cut her some slack. Do you remember turning 16? It is a huge deal.
No, you are not "obligated" to do anything for her. And I actually sense a bit of resentment that you are "going above and beyond" what you agreed on, but look at it this way, you are not fullfilling a contract, you are building a relationship. While it sucks that you are the adult in this equation, and you may be on the giving end for awhile, in the end it is bear who will benefit knowing that his adoptive parents care enough to send his birthmom a birthday card.
In my own situation, his parents always sent a card and called on my birthday (as well as my husband's and kids), although it took longer for me to reciprocate...and I was 24 at the time of the adoption! I'm glad his mom did not give up on me.