[mom2GRLC]

Well, think back to when you were a kid. The three main birthdays are 1, 16 and 21. At least that has been my impression. My younger sister just turned 16 in March and I heard about that for several months before hand. So I think that a lot of it is just her age and her excitement about the big day. No, I don't think you are obligated to give her anything or even send her a card. I guess my reasons on that are if you do it once then maybe she will expect it each year and be dissapointed when you don't send her anything. What you might do is find a moment to take that picture of him in his new outift and send that to her along with a little update and in it just tell her "happy Birthday, hope you have a wondeful day" or somthing simple like that.

Think about your relatives....what do you do for them? I know for me I am terrible about sending anything each year even christmas cards,not to mention fathers day cards/mothers day cards birthday cards..etc!!! So just do what feels comfortable for you. From the tone of your post it sounds like you already know that it's not something you have time to do or even want to do (given her lack of communication and everything on her part). So I would just keep it simple and stick to your original agreement. Remember you are the one setting the boundaries....if you constantly go above and beyond than that is what she will expect all the time.