[calikismet]

I agree with the others that you have to become clear on what you do and do not want. Right now, these individuals are offering what they think is in the best interest of you and your child... I would suspect that none are acting to caue harm or hurt feelings. But they are ignorant of your feelings and desires... and to some extent, that is your fault (and I mean that in a totally non-judgemental way). You very likely have not sat down with them and had a true heart-to-heart. You are your child's mother, and you have a right to dictate everything that is done for and to your child.. and your reasons need not be clear, or even particularly rational. But you likely have not made those boundaries clear. It would prob be a very good idea to have a set-down with each, and state the plain and simple: you sincerely appreciate everything they want to do for you and your child, BUT you need them to do A, B and C, and NOT do X, Y and Z. Explain to them that this is in the best interest of your child -- the only one whose feelings and development are truly important here -- and that you will not tolerate deviations from that. Warn them, nicely, that if they persist, you sadly will have to terminate visits with them for a while. Emphasize that you realy want them to be a part of her life.. but that how much so will depend on their ability to respect your wishes. From there, make it easy for them to comply -- when you go out to dinner, set your child away from them, and next to you. Make them have to pass theu you to get to your child.

But to criticize them for something they are ignorant of is probably not fair. NOW, if they persist after you have spoken up, they have been aptly warned... then it truly is their problem.