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Originally Posted by adoptmom_02
we have one son who is 4 his birth mom is pregnant. We are hoping to adopt this baby as well. when she first asked us if we wanted to adopt. she was going to place the baby with us she was set on her decision. Now she is going back and forth on wanting to parent and making an adoption plan for her baby.
On to my question. we have an open adoptionwith her.we see her about once a year.but send pictures letters and phone calls.
how do you explain it to our child that his brother or sister lives with his birth parents and he/she lives with you. and they dont get to grow up together? my son asks me for a brother or sister all the time.
thank you
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We are parents to two kids through adoption. Both of them have
older siblings being parented by their first families. Bug has two sisters and Roo has a brother. To Bug, her sisters are just that, her sisters. (When sharing our story with others, I do use the descriptor "birth sisters" for clarification). She's 2 1/2 and she knows she as sisters. Their pic is on our fridge and we have had three visits (wish it were more).
We have a son who is 3 months. Now, with DD, we talk about how Roo is her brother who lives with us and always will, and she has two sisters who don't live with us. She has met Roo's older brother at the match meeting. She knows him by his first name and knows that he is Roo's brother but T doesn't live with us.
It all seems very complicated to adults when we talk about it. To Bug, it's just her family. She often asks "I go to park with sisters". I just wish her first mom would be more open to contact.
Who knows how it will all play out. I know both their First Moms worry about how the kids they are parenting will react to the placement of a child. I know that we will most likely deal with the "why didn't she want to keep me and she kept them" scenario too. All legit concerns, all stuff we'll deal with when it comes.