Tigger,
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you might be overreacting here. If you don't want people to offer food, comfort, concern for your daughter, you are well within your right as a parent and you should tell them so ... but I think it's somewhat unreasonable to be upset that they're behaving this way if you haven't *expressly* told them not to.
I think this is "typical behavior" of many adults toward many children and is no reflection on how they feel you're doing as a parent.
You are well within your right to ask that they not behave this way, but I think the onus falls on you to say "I've ordered food for her, I'd prefer she didn't eat yours." or "Thanks, but I'll hold her myself," or "Please don't touch her." or go into an explanation of why these things are not necessarily good for a PI-child (your choice about how much information to share. Perhaps in one of your previous posts you have mentioned that you have already tried saying these things to these people.)
While you might choose not to let your co-worker hold your daughter (and with good reason), I do think it was a nice gesture for her to offer.
I remember in my first few months as a parent, I took everything anybody said as "advice" and was killing myself trying to follow it all ... as you get more experience as a parent, I think you learn how to follow your gut more and let those well-meaning but misinformed comments slide off your back a bit more.
Good luck and enjoy your child.
