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Originally Posted by banjo
It was easier for the afamily to kick me out of the situation and have separate visits with my bchild. It really hurt for a long time.
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Banjo, are you saying that you don't see
your bchild anymore because his/her asibs had a problem with the fact they they didn't have a similar relationship with their bparents? If that's the situation, it's inexcusable and I'm shocked. How unfair to you and your child.
We have a totally closed relationship with our eldest son's bparents (not our choice), and a totally open one with our youngest's bmom and family. I wish that H had what E has, tangible knowledge of his first family's love for him, access to answers to his questions, etc. I'm also extremely proud and grateful that K and her family have taken H to their hearts and always acknowledge him when sending gifts for E by including something for him as well. They are wonderful. I wish everyone could have a bfamily like theirs in their achild's life.
H hasn't really been really curious about his roots. Perhaps in the future he wonder why his bparents aren't in the picture. Right now I think he's happy that K recognizes him as her son's big brother, and that's enough for him.
So, in summary, I must say that having two different situations, one closed and one open, hasn't been a problem for us yet. Quite the opposite, really. We'll see what time brings.