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Ripples,
Reading your post got me thinking, and while I am very sorry to say I can not relate very well with your feelings of guilt I wanted to reply just the same.
I know very little, but a lot more than others, about my Biological family. I know that my Biological Mother was 39 when I was born, I also know that if her ex-husband had found out she was pregnant with me she would have lost custody of her 7 other children, so I have Biological Siblings out there somewhere. And I also know that 2 months after I was adopted, a young woman called my Mom to ask for information on placing her baby for adoption, she was my biological sister, 16 years old and also requested a picture of me that she could give to my biological mother.
I have to be honest, if I met my bio-siblings I do not feel anything other than curious. No resentment or guilt. And while I do have some curiosity I also realize that due to circumstances my life is different from theirs. I don't believe you have anything to feel guilty for. You lived the life you dd because of circumstances that you had no control over, and they in turn lived their lives they way they did for the same reasons. You should not accept blame nor guilt for that.
If your siblings want contact with you thats great, but if they only want it to make you feel badly, or blame you or worst of all what they can gain from you I really think you should rethink if you honestly want contact with them.
Anyway, thats just my oppinion and I hope very much that you will find a coarse through your circumstances that will bring you happiness. I wish you the very best of luck and remind you that it is ok for your life to be different from anyone elses.
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