[
Our adoption was closed. We adopted a baby daughter 18 years ago. When our daughter was 17 she asked us if we would help her locate her bfamily. She was crying and said she felt like she had been left on the side of the road. This did hurt, but after she explained, I tried to understand. We did locate the bmom and bgrandparents. They are a part of our life now. It has been great. We have had cookouts. We have enjoyed short trips together. My daughter has spent overnight trips with the bgrandparents and bmom. My daughter and I traveled to Alaska to meet the bmom and my daughter stayed a week with the bmom. I was alone when she was staying with the bmom. I took a cruise and traveled on the Alaskan Railroad. I did cry when I was looking out the window of the train. I thought to myself, God this is so beautiful but I can't enjoy it because I am so worried that my daughter will love her bmom more than me. People in the train would stare at me like I must be the strangest person in the world to cry over the beautiful landscape. I would take walks and start crying. I remember seeing the manager of the hotel watching me from a window. I must have seemed like a crazy person to the people at the hotel. I remember sitting in the dining area of the hotel and I looked at the ocean. I started to cry. I prayed to God that if only my mother was alive, I wish I could call her. I started to sob. I looked out the window and a ship was coming into the port next to the hotel. The name on the ship was Aurora. I was raised in Aurora, Texas. I believe God was trying to tell me that my mother was always with me and it was going to be ok. It is ok. The closed adoption being opened is a good thing.
quote=cfredsal]Has anyone built their adoptive family with both open and closed adoptions? What is/has been the effect on the children, particularly the child through closed adoption? Our son came to us through a closed adoption scenario, and now we are looking to expand our family through open adoption. We are looking for any advice, real life situations, good or bad, to consider before we continue. We would love for our son to have a sibling and need to weigh in the effect an open adoption may have on him.[/quote]