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I understand why you feel younger J would do better in a same-race home, especially since she can express that it is what she wants. But why send older J away when she has bonded with your family? Couldn't you maintain an open relationship and let them keep contact -- phone, emails, maybe visits? It seems as though the younger J will have a lot of power over her sister if she can "force" her to leave a home where she is happy just because the younger one isn't. And what if her physically abusive behavior to her sister is not a by-product of being in your home? What if it continues in the next home?
What does older J say she wants -- to go with her sister or to stay with you? Shouldn't her wishes be considered reasonable and honored as well? While many twins share a special bond of closeness, there are sets of twins who are constantly at odds -- fighting to be individuals -- check out the story of Jacob and Esau in the Bible.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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