[kikibrando]

We received a placement of twin girls in May. From the beginning, the youngest twin has had issues being here. Recently, the last four weeks, she's announced she doesn't want to be adopted. Additionally, she said she wants to go back to her home state and be placed with a same-race parent. She's African-American. This, I believe is a reasonable request of a nine-year-old child.

The sad thing, the older twin has bonded with our family. The older J doesn't want to leave. This has pitted the twins against each other, but in the long run, I feel more harm would come from separation then their remaining together.

Younger J has been disruptive since placement, and we have been working with her all summer. She has aggressive tendencies, which have been held in check until now. She attacked Older J four weeks ago, choking and trying to push her down the stairs over a make up compact. When we confronted Younger J, she said she meant to hurt her sister and wasn't sorry.

The last few weeks have seen repeated incidents like this. She has become physically and verbally aggressive with all my children. The last few days have been especially bad, as now she's been aggressive with my 3 year old and I caught her fighting over a rattle with my one year old tonight. Now, I am concerned for their safety.

Younger J insists she doesn't want to be adopted and wants to go back to her home. We have told her this is fine and we will support her in doing this.

Has anyone here every experienced a child disrupting a placement for similar reasons?

I really think it's in Younger J's best interest to leave this placement if she is not happy in a transracial home and desires a same race home. I only wish this had been asked before we came to this. I feel so bad for this child, but really want her transition from my home to be peaceful and without the aggression. I've really tried, very hard, to make this work, but at the end of the day, I think it's best for everyone for her to leave.


I think this is a case where a lot of miscommunication has caused problems.