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Hi Mom in Saratoga NY,
I've heard the saying too about 1 year for every year in care (I think that was for orphanages but I'm not positive on that).
We had some trouble with our son bonding to me and he was 10 1/2 months at the time of his arrival. It took him almost 3 months and getting chicken pox from the vaccination to bond with me and I'm a SAHM. I also got him involved with Kindermusik classes (since he has a love of music). It has helped a great deal since it's something that only he and I do. His sister will be joining us this fall so it will be interesting.
I'll PM you since we are so close in geography.
Jen
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