[love4]

I am so sorry to hear your story. I can very well understand your pain. You had a beautiful baby and he was ripped from your arms. It is a terrible thing to happen. It was very wrong. I am an adoptive mom of 4 girls. I think it is very wrong for someone to force a mother to give her child up for adoption. I did not want to be a mother at the expense of another's pain. And yet that is what happen.

I feel the same thing happened to me. A child was placed in my arms. I was told she was my daughter. I was told never to say she was my adopted daughter because that would hurt her. She was my girl forever. She became a part of my family tree. I raised her with my values and gave her a big piece of myself. One day I get a call. Her birthmom wants her back in her life. My life was just ripped from me. I felt threatened, invaded upon, helpless, abandoned and unloved because my daughter decided to walk out on everything we gave her to live with her birthfamily. She was mine and yet I knew she came from another. My feelings were not suppose to matter. I was to step back and let another family take my place. It killed me. It is a whole different thing than having a niece, a nephew, grandchildren as you state. She was my daughter. I had to let go of my daughter to let another in just as you did. You still suffer anguish. A special piece of yourself was ripped forcefully and you had no control. Same with me. A foster mom who has a child a couple months suffers grief over a child that leaves there home. I had my daughter for 28 years and now she is very much with her birthfamily. Thankfully she is making her way back to our family. I really like her birthmom and dad and we get along but they have been a great invasion in my life that I had to learn to deal with. It has been a long journey if you read many of my posts. A very hard thing just as it was and is for you. Not my blood but certainly my girl.

There are many adoptive mom's in my situation but will not post for fear of replys. Our emotions do not matter to many. We are not supposed to have any but I do. I respect all members of the triad and I validate their feelings but I have some too.