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Hi, I found my bMom in Dec 2005. I went through the agency and they found her for me. It has been the most exciting and scary experience I have ever had. We wrote through the agency for several months, I finally released all my info in March and then we talked on the phone for about a month and then met in April. She let me set the pace all the way. We have a fantastic relationship and I am also getting to know bfather's family and bfather too. I don't think I could have handled it if she had pushed me at all during the process. During all of this my AMom had a heart attack and four hospitalizations and my ADad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died. She is still giving me as much space as I need with my family. I think we entered each other's lives at just the right time. I do not have any regrets. I did keep my expectations low at the beginning. You never know how people will take first contact. I have been pulled into the family with open arms and I am loving it. I have a sense of calm that I have never felt before in my life. My AMom told me that when I first came home I had held my hands in fista for weeks and cried and cried. Even one of my coworkers commented that I seemed "very content" and that was before I even told any of my friends about my search/find.
I am 37 years old. I would suggest giving your son as much space as he needs. Just knowing you are there is a big deal. I had always wondered if my bMom ever thought of me and I know now that she did and it is a great comfort knowing that now.
My AMom is going back home since my ADad's death here (she lives in the SW) and she said she feels good that there is someone here with my best interests at heart and will make it easier to leave.
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