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I think you ARE bonded, but the bond doesn't feel the way you think it should.
If the thought of him in another family bothers you, then you ARE bonded. Most likely what you are feeling is a personality conflict. I have it with my dd, although not so bad now. Remember also, that a 2-4 yr old is quite hard to get along with...it is the hard age, and he won't be that age forever.
The sweet babyness seems to just disappear around age 2. Besides, fear causes anger. So your anger/impatience with him (you said above) is really a fear of something....I think it sounds like a fear of making the "wrong choice"....or a fear of not being bonded. You yourself stated above
"I think of him living with another family and I cry because I think of him as my little boy."
You answered your own question....he is your little boy....It's that feeling that matters. And once you recognize it, your doubts will lessen....he still may be a challange to raise, even later on, but he is YOURS....Get a babysitter for a day...leave and go shopping or to the movies or whatever, but be gone, or have him be gone (at a day-long playdate).....you don't need a full week respite to see how you feel.
Also, the loss of your first placement, may have you guarding your heart this time around. TPR hasn't happened and you may be subconciously protecting yourself.
sorry it took so long for my reply, I have been out of town.
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