Moose
I guess I can understand the stress and anxiety that comes with meeting someone you are connected to in an intimate way but have no knowledge of. I'm a birthmom of a 36 yr old son and met him 4 years ago after placing him for adoption as a newborn.
How do two relative strangers meet and get to know each other? Slowly would be my best advice. In many ways we are the result of the environment we were bought up in, and in your case, I presume your mother had a relationship with your bfather as a young man. If she cared for him then, I am sure he is a nice person today. Be yourself - don't try to be what you "think" he wants you to be - he's meeting his birthchild and that's probably something he has wanted to do for years. No need for you to be beautiful and successful - you only need to be you. If you are worried, take someone else along with you. They can be your back=up if something feels amiss, but if everything is sweet they can take a walk so you can spend some one-on-one time together.
Take deep breathes.....think of all your special characteristics and traits and see if there are matches- he'll be just as nervous ........so take it one day at a time, and keep it simple. Reunion is no time for dramas or operas. Be compassionate and respectful and at the end of the meeting you will know you handled yourself with dignity and him with kindness.
Good luck Moose.....I remember how hard it was trying to guess how things would turn out. Keep reminding yourself that you share the same genes.....probably the same personality or parts of it anyway.
It would also be a good idea to work out what you want to achieve and how much contact you would like. You are the minor in this connection so set your own boundaries and don't be pushed into more than you can handle.
Meeting my son definitely altered my life. We have an easy flowing relationship that warms my heart every day. I am not his mother...he already has one of them. We are friends - related by birth - and we each give each other another dimension that was missing prior to the reunion. And....we have the rest of our lives to make this relationship work.
Ann
