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No- you're not being overly emotional. Your BIL's comment stung because (1) he's family-- someone who should be supportive, and should know better, (2) MIL, someone who REALLY should know better didn't step up to the plate either, and (3) as an adopting parent, we all struggle with the idea of how much it all costs, and sometimes question for ourselves why it is not "buying a baby." The last part is the worst, because comments like BIL's rip off the thin layer of comfort that we've been able to develop.
Let me tell you why I no longer believe I'm "buying" a baby (at least no more than anyone else does). It would cost thousands of dollars for me to have a bio child-- considering prenatal care, hospital bills, etc. The fact that a third party (insurance) would pick up the majority of the bill does not negate the fact that SOMEONE paid thousands of dollars. In addition, if my bio child were overseas, I would pay whatever I needed in travel fees, intergovernment facilitation fees, etc. to bring my child home. As long as that child is my bio child, no one would consider me to have "bought" a baby. The fact that my child did not grow inside of me makes no difference as far as I'm concerned. I'm paying what I need to pay in order to bring my child home.
HTH
Char
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