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Originally Posted by Runyan2002
There IS a difference between you and if you were a bmom with visits. YOU are not that child's mother, and have no connection anymore (except for those heartbreaking days, I don't mean this as rude). A bmom in open adoption will ALWAYS be the child's mother (that connection could not be broken), gave birth to the child, spent 9 months with the child....does that make sense?
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I don't mean to compare myself exactly to a birthmom, because of course I have no biological connection to her-- it was just the closest analogy I could find. I would disagree with the notion that I have no connection anymore. Once I loved her as my daughter, I simply loved her. Her entire life flashed before me, and I loved every moment of it. My love hasn't diminished with her being gone. It grows every day, as if she were still here. My big fear in maintaining contact is not that I'll be asked to do things that only a mother should have to do, but that I'll WANT to do those things, because I can't stop feeling like I am her mother too. I guess that's the part I need to work on first.
Char