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Originally Posted by bromanchik
I, unlike the others, do not see this lady trying to take advantage of you, rather, I see her as offering this contact thinking it will help you with your pain of losing the baby. After all, this is what she would have wanted from an open adoption, in her mind, why would you not want the same?
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Actually, she was afraid of too much openness (thinking it might be too painful). She originally agreed to letters and pictures, only because the agency pushed her hard. I let her know (and they let her know) that I was open to visits, and she finally decided at the hospital that she would be open to 2 visits a year. When she invited me to the shower, she told me she would understand if I thought it would be too hard. I don't think her motives are bad, but it doesn't really matter. For me, there's pain either way.