Perhaps you can keep things cool for a while, while you attempt to heal.
This must be horrible for you. I'm sure that you will in time be able to see the child and her family without feeling such immense loss and pain.
Trying to "push" it along by having her for days or a week at a time, especially when this is so fresh, is a mistake, in my opinion. Give yourself some time to heal, and make sure you tell the mother all this that you have shared with us. I KNOW she will understand and still be friends while you do some serious healing.
I'm so happy you are getting some professional help about this. YOu deserve to be happy, you know and the therapy will allow you to again, one day.
Any time it gets too much, just post on here. NObody is going to judge you and we will be a friend to you.
BIG BIG BIG hugs
dmca
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