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Yes that is Ethan up there! Thanks for the compliment. Personally I think open is better just for the knowledge of where you came from. It is very difficult for me because Ethan's first mom chose to have no contact and also we heard through the social worker she really didn't want him to search either since she never told anyone and hid her pregnancy. That bothers me. I have information and I will give the little bit I have to him when and if he asks, but I really don't want to lie. In reality from the little I do have I doubt he could locate her but I will support him in whatver decision he makes, while at the same time trying to share with him her circumstances at the time.
it is hard. I want to honor her and her wishes, but I also know how questions can eat away at you and what if she changes her mind but has no way to find us because of her decisions?
Just a circular argument that I guess I will have to deal with as he gets older.
My mom knew the circumstances of my birth and knew it wouldn't be healthy for me to know until I was older. So she always said she didn't know when in reality she did. I took her at her word and found out on my own and it wasn't good and she did make a good decision for me, now I have to weigh all of this for my son and his future and his first mom's as well....
Sorry to go off on a tangent!
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