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Originally Posted by dmca
Scarlet moon
You people are AMAZING. Such a bond and seeing each other in person. I could just hug you all.
dmca
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When I was search for my son in 1997, I was a emtional mess.
All the anger, hurt, loss was buried. As in the words they used in 1964, "as if it never happened". No one in my family talked about it. No one every asked how I was doing.
So I put up a wall and went on. The problem, all decisions I made over those years, were based on my loss. The men I picked to marry, 3 times. The way I acted. I was very immature even into my 20s.
I married at 17, less then a year after my son was born and adopted. I had two more children by the time I was 19, and divorced at 20.
All the pain and hurt came out when I started to search. I screamed, cried, and felt the loss as if it had just happened.
The year before I started searching, I would cry every time I watched a show about birthmothers, or reunions.
I would find myself screaming at the radio if the talk show host said teens had no business keeping their babies.
Finally someone told me to search. I got my medical records from the doctor, the hospital... and found someone to help me. Along with support groups and then the email list.
It helped me sort though my emotions before I found my son. Taught me what could happen, how he might feel, or not feel.
The ladies on the list, in a sense, saved my life and sanity.
I am one of the lucky ones, my bson wanted me in his life as much as I wanted him.
Our reunion has gone well. The only trouble we had was from his exwife, never between he and I.
He is even talking about changing his last name to my maiden name. I don't think he will, he had too son's and it might be confusing for them. But for me, it is great that he would even consider it.
I suppose you can guess from that, his adoption wasn't the best. He would have been better off being raised by his teenage mother. He was born when I was just 16, a year later I was married, 8 1/2 months after that I had a daughter. I was able, though without a husband I would have needed family help to finish school.
As it was, I quit school to marry.
My kids are age, bson 42, raised daughter soonbto be 41, and a younger son 39. I have 6 grandchildren. Two are my bson's, one my daughters, and 3 step grand's.
Such is life