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I have raised 4 birthchildren, adopted 4 children, the oldest was almost 2 when adopted. We also have done foster care for older children and infants and had two older girls that came to us at ages 8 and 11 but we had to let them go back (to foster care) because although we felt we were well experienced and had done our homework, things came out that neither the agency, previous foster parents or we were aware of. EVERYONE told me not to do it -- that they could harm our younger children. In all the meetings with these girls, I was convinced (my husband not so convinced as I was) that it was wrong to assume that NO OLDER CHILD could be successfully adopted into a family with other children. In this case, I was wrong. As vigilant as I was, things did happen that were serious enough to the well-being of our younger children that we had to say no. I still hurt and ache for them and pray for them every day. I would never tell anyone NOT to adopt an older child. I'm just relating our experience to you. Two of our adopted children were drug-exposed, one quite heavily. They are both beautiful, bright, well-behaved children. Again, NOTHING is certain. I did a lot of research on drug exposure before we decided to adopt these children but just knew in our hearts they belonged with us. Yes, they will likely have learning issues as they continue in school. They are 8 and 9 at this time. But the teachers, their peers, everyone loves them. So, again, just my experiences that I'm sharing with you. Do a lot of soul-searching because an adoption is truly forever -- if not in your home, certainly in your heart. Unfortunately, sometimes we cannot undo what has been done to these children before they came to us. It is very sad to me, but also very true.
Josie
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