My DH is an adult adoptee in reunion just over 10 years. Obviously, his was a closed adoption which dates back to the 60's. He was thrilled to meet his birthparents and full siblings. They married when they finished their education.
I encouraged him early on in our marriage to find his birthfamily, and he honestly did not want to for two main reasons. A) He did not want to upset his adoptive mom (whole other issue there), and B) He did not want to intrude on his birthfamily. He had no idea that they had gotten married. He thought maybe his birthmom moved on with her life and perhaps kept him a secret, so he did not want to jeopardize her personal space either.
We have adopted two sons, and although the adoptions are semi-open, there are no visits as this is what their parents chose.
We are all for the openness. We met our new babe's mom on the day he was placed in our arms. We exchange letters and pics.
My DH knew information about his biological background, but was able to ask more personal and detailed questions when they all met.
Being adoptive parents, we are so glad that we have all this information to share with our sons with regard to their birth families.
I have heard it mentioned before that when it comes to children seeking out their birth families, that boys/men are usually not as curious as the girls/women are. Perhaps there is some truth to that. I am sure my DH would not have looked for them because of the reasons listed above, but he is sure glad now that everything has worked out.
