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My husband and I are really struggling with this issue. We have 3 foster kids that we are in the process of adopting. The youngest we will definitely be changin his name as he is named after bio dad. We brought him home from the hospital at 6 days old and have been pretty much calling him by his "new" name since he was a few months old (when it became obvious that reunification most likely would not happen).
Our other 2 foster kids are siblings and are 2 and 3. The 2 year old knows his name but doesn't say it. The 3 year old knows her name but on occassion expresses an interest in changing her name. There are 2 reasons why I think we should change their names. The first is because I know they are named after relatives. Although they were not abusive to the kids they certainly aren't role models. The other reason is because we don't want their bio mom to be able to contact them before they are 18. At one point we had a good relationship with her, so she knows our phone number (cell only) and where we live. However, she's left the state and I don't think she knows our address, just where the house is. She knows that we have at least one of the kids (they are part of a sibling group of 4) but not who or how many. However, she'll be able to track the kids down much more easily if we keep their first names and give them our last name. My husband is pretty set against changing their first names, but I truly worry about bio mom coming back into their lives in 5+ years after she has grown up and gotten it together.
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