[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

I don't know where else to post this today. But I'm bummed.

Let me preface this with: I thought I had taken my last birth control pill ever on Saturday at the end of the pill pack. Josh and I had decided to use the Fertility Awareness Method (from the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility) because, since the miscarriage, even high dose hormonal birth control is not cutting it for me. Lots of bleeding, etc. Beyond that, we have decided to "ttc without actively trying" starting in December. So, I had an appointment with my doc today to go over my menstrual chart.

Not good.

He took one look at my chart and said, "Are you on 35?" I said, "No, 50." He then got that concerned doctor look on his face. He asked what Josh and I were planning. I said that we were going to begin FAM and use condoms until I got the hang of temping and checking CM. He said, "No. I need you on HBC for another full month." Why? Oh. I have a transvaginal ultrasound now scheduled for next Tuesday followed by a D&C to look at my uterus. Why? He's worried about polyps or cysts. Or something else completely wrong.

I just want to sit and cry.

These things are not supposed to happen to me. I know that I'm grateful for a doctor who is thorough. I know this. But I am still angry tonight. I want to have never lost the pregnancy with Rose. I want to be fourteen weeks pregnant. I want to feel the swell of my belly.

I just needed to vent. My Husband attempted to understand but he's the very "it will be okay," reassuring type of personality. And tonight I just wanted someone else to say, "Yeah, it sucks."

Throw a pity party with me.

(((((((((Jenna)))))))) I am so sorry you are going through this... all of it. Yes, it sucks...big time!!! All of it... I am so sorry for your loss and now, these new concerns. I wish there was something else to say but I am hoping with all I got that your dreams of another pregnancy and babe come true very soon!