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What great advice from your doctor! I agree with him, and think I need to try more of the same. The highlight of my day during the school year was when we'd get the three of them off to school, and my hubby and I would have a lovely cup of fancy coffee before we headed to work (he's self employed and I work from home). In fact, I just realized I've REALLY been missing that over the summer holiday - and I wonder if it explains my recent tendency towards being irritable and tearful? I don't know if that kind of "self care" is good enough for everyone who is under stress - but it is a great place to start! Also, I've taken a lot of comfort in being able to share my feelings with a few trusted people. One is the guidance counsellor at the school where I work part time - she's had lots of experience with troubled kids, and it is just REALLY nice to hear her affirm me and tell me I'm doing a great job. One BIG "lightbulb" moment I had months ago was when I told her that I'm so afraid that I might do something "wrong" with A. and cause "damage" to him. She said "Do you really think you could damage or hurt him more than what has already been done? As long as your motivations are right and you are doing the best you can, you ARE doing the right thing! His problems are NOT your fault." And another one was when I was fretting that I'd lost my temper and ruined him forever, and she asked if I had ever had a bad moment with one of my own girls, and if they had survived it and forgiven me. Just to have someone who KNOWS what they are talking about give you that bit of motivation to keep going. Really, our "regular" friends with "normal" kids will NEVER really "get it", and sometimes talking to them just makes a person feel worse, no matter how much they try to help!
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