1st agency SW = HORRIBLE
She was humorless, dour, bland and rigid. We believe that she decided early on that because of the mistakes my parents made in parenting me - which I am not only completely aware of but have reconciled myself with, moved past and know what NOT to do and have filled my life with supportive parenting role models - that I was not fit to be a parent. (Note - I was not abused or in any danger, simply neglected while my parents fulfilled their dreams - I always had food and a roof over my head and always knew that my parents loved me, even though as a young child I knew they made mistakes. But I am NOT my parents) This was not based at ALL on who I am today, only the assumption that I MUST be screwed up and am hiding it.
I spoke with MANY social services and mental health professionals afterward and all disagreed 100% with her evaluation and were truly horrifed at how I was treated by that agency. I have reference letters to attest to that.
2nd agency SW = wonderful
She's sweet, friendly, open (and adoptive parent herself) and seems to come to us with no preconceived notions.
Unfortunately, because we have to divulge all previous agencies, that original SW's nastiness plagues us to this day.
My advice to potential aparents- have an upfront discussion with your agency about who your SW will be. And don't make the HUGE mistake that we did - we allowed them to drag us along for over 6 months getting paperwork done before they would even assign us with an SW - and less than 2 months later it all came to a crashing halt. Insist that you MEET your SW before you invest all of that time and emotion in the process. These people have your LIFE in their hands - and trusting that to just anyone is foolish.
If I had chosen the agency I am working with now, I would already be a parent. But because of the lingering effects of that nightmare of and SW, we are still in limbo.