[dmca]

Well, it depends on the adoption, I suppose.
From my experience, if you are a bmother and have made the decision to relinquish your child, learn to live with that decision and BELIEVE as you did when you made that decision that it was the RIGHT one for you and/or the child. One you accept completely that it was the RIGHT decision, you can allow the family to parent and care for the child, while you are able to BACK OFF and let it happen.
For the adopting parents, SURPRISE, this is YOUR child, so BE PARENTS and hold them above all else.
For the child: it's nice to keep some sort of contact with the bparent(s) so that the child when they are adults can contact them for a variety of reasons.
Pictures, letters once a year, so everyone knows that the child is well and happy. The child will grow up safely in the love and nurturing of their parents and feel okay with contacting the bparents, if they so wish.
If they don't wish, that's fine too. Adults make their own decisions about themselves.
The one thing that seems to be most overlooked is counsilling, *(IMO). perhaps that should be made mandatory ???
I know I would have loved it and taken it greatfully.
I know I'm going to get burnt about this. LOL, but, I do believe in discussion and points of view.
dmca