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K, your note speaks volumes on how important it is to screen your agency heavily before making a choice... whether an expectant mom or an adopting family.
We asked friends who have adopted, and they gave us their choices. Our criteria specified ethical behavior w/regard to outreach and treatment of the pregnant woman. That was our sole criteria. The benefit was, that they are so ethical, they have treated us very well.
The wait has been very long, however, because this agency happens to counsel women to keep their children. that is expected and why we chose this agency. They do all they can to assist w/supports, give extended counseling. Won't even show the profiles of waiting families (and they place w/nontraditional and single families too) until the last minute, when the mom is certain. Even after the birth (we planned on an emergency last minute placement for just that reason).
For those of you starting the journey -- it is a long wait when you know an agency is working towards the total best interests of the pregnant woman. and it is so worth it. Even though we have been waiting a year+ now, it brings me comfort.
Here is statistically what our agency told us happens.
they don't advertise so it is word of mouth, web searches, or walk ins only.
Maximum 40 pregnant women will walk through the door asking for info per year. Of that 40 women, 20 will actually take the info. Of the 20, 14 will get assistance in the form of legal, medical, counseling, etc. Of the 6 who decide to place, they are absolutely certain that this is what they must do.
After placement, they encourage contact. For the most part, the adoptions are not "fully open" because it was the expecting mom's choice to get letters/photos and to send gifts, but not have full contact.
Try and interview your selected agencies and make sure that they are working ethically on all sides.
We "interviewed" five agencies before we selected the one we are working with. We are very happy with the decision, even if our adoption is taking a while. We deliberately chose them for their practices.
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