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I have fostered teen girls for many years and I did not have one that wanted to be adopted. They all continued in fostercare despite my want to adopt them. They had very strong ties to theri family and thought it would hurt their family's feelings. Some thought if they remained in care there was a chance to go back home regardless of the fact they knew the parents were unfit and rights had been terminated.
As an adult, one of my girls request to be adopted by us and she changed her mind just days before our court date. She has had no family for years except us, her children call me Nana, and she calls me daily for support. I don't know what she really wants but adoption is not it. We remind her regularly she is a part of our family with or without the paperwork.
We are in the process again and our oldest living in our home was against adoption until we explained she is not losing her family but gaining another one. She was afraid she would be "deleting" her mom and dad. We asked her if we would be deleting our daughter if we adopted again and that seemed to really help her come to terms with it. She also worries about DFCS being involved in her life and was willing to talk about adoption if they would be leaving her alone.
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